Ah, retirement, that time in your life when you get to do what you want to. Hugh and I first "retired" from our professions by developing new careers. Hugh, a psychologist who moved to a small retirement community, was amazed to encounter retirees who had serious difficulties getting used to this phase of life.
Hugh: "Before this, I saw retirement as that wonderful time of life that everyone looks forward to. Then my practice filled with retirees with depression, serious illnesses and marriage problems. I realized that retirement is a huge life change, especially for me, but it also impacts on the spouses too.
Often, men feel they have no purpose and serious illnesses crop up. Also there can be a strain on the marriage partner because she now may feel she must fulfill all her partners social needs.
Women tend to have less troubles adjusting. Hugh theorizes, "Women have many more changes, menstrual cycles, pregnancy, child rearing, then empty nesting. Women know they can survive change.
As a nurse practitioner, I saw those at retirement having very different attitudes. Some had a great time, involved in new learning situations, willing to risk new activities, sometimes careers. Others were shutting down viewing retirement as the time to "take it easy, after all, this is why you worked so hard, to enjoy it now." This attitude goes against one very strong edict of mine: Use it or lose it. My desire is to encourage everyone to the incredible possibilities and joy that they can create for themselves regardless of their circumstances.
So, enjoying change ourselves and seeing the needs that others had, we created a business of writing materials and giving seminars. We developed materials to fit these needs of retirement. Hugh wrote a dandy book called "Dancing with Change" which describes what each of us can do to make successful changes regardless of the circumstances.
Together we wrote workbooks. First came "Beyond Your Career: Reinventing Retirement", which stimulates the user to find their purpose/passion by uncovering interests and aptitudes, then encourages the reader to apply them as he/she develops an action plan.
The second workbook, "Second Time Around: Reinventing Your Retirement Marriage," fosters intimacy and understanding so that deeper sharing can occur. From this base, partners describe their needs and desires, thus establishing a richer, deeper relationship, really a new relationship.
We talked to thousands of retirees and soon-to-be retirees listening to their concerns, joys and pleasures. We traveled throughout the USA and Canada in a motor coach thrilling to the different scenarios and delightful people we encountered. Our own belief about retirement is that this continues to be a time to expand and grow, to live on the edge.
Our travels brought us to Newfoundland, Canada where to our surprise, we bought a bed and breakfast on the Atlantic Ocean! Now, physically, we live on the edge. Spectacular, fiercely beautiful, fantastic, awesome are some of the adjectives people use to describe our spot where granite rises out of the ocean.
In season, fishermen harvest lobster in front of the house and dock, fishing boats from 35-65 ft. set out for catches of crab, lumpfish, cod, capelin, mackerel, to name some, then motor back to the fish plant about 1 mile away from us. Icebergs in the distance march on as they continue south to be consumed by the warmer ocean currents.
Breakfast conversations sometimes last two hours as we learn about each other, always fun. Living here in this beauty reminds us how fortunate we are and we are delighted that we can share it with others. Life is good, very good here on the edge!
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